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Sunday, March 14, 2010

I really don't like the dog, what do I do?

My step-dad's friend gave my fiance and I a 1 year old Great Dane 2 weeks ago. Before the guy brought the dog over, he told us he was house trained, up to date on all his shots and never bothered anything in the house. I really didn't want the dog, I was giving it to my grandma but the moment my fiance saw it he just fell in love with the dog. Well I let him keep it and now, 2 weeks later the dog is well house trained but they lied about everything else, the dog has no shot record and chews on anything and everything in the house, rugs, sofa cushions, shoes, paper, he even got a hold of my fiance's cigarettes and ate them. I am beginning to hate this dog but my fiance says he's not getting rid of him. I can't put him in the backyard b/c we have a pool and if he jumps in he cannot climb back out on the ladder and will drown. I am also 29 weeks pregnant and do not want this dog that I've known for 2 weeks in the house when my baby comes. Do I make him choose? do i give the dog away?

I really don't like the dog, what do I do?
A relationship is give and take. Why not sit you boyfriend down and explain how you feel. I don't think it is fair to give the dog away with out telling him. (put yourself in his shoes). If he really wants the dog then he is going to have to be responsible for the dog (he should realize that he is going to have double the work after the baby comes). For instance, train the dog, crate train the dog, walking the dog (that gets rid of a lot of energy). The dog is a puppy so he is just going through a chewing stage.
Reply:I think you make him understand by saying this..."I understand that you care about this dog and I do to, however I don't think we can give him the life he deserves. He would be much happier in a place where he can run and have places to play, without getting hurt." You sound like you do care about this dog and you want him to be taken care of and you need to make your fiance start thinking about the dog and what is best for him. If he cares about the dog he will want what is best for him. He sounds like a good dog, and with a little help from someone who can be around and teach him, he will become a great dog. I think you are doing the right thing. Everyone in the family needs to be on the same page when taking on the responsibility of a pet.
Reply:hi, you answered one of my questions about pregnancy, I chose you as best answer... Id really like to ask you a few questions about my pregnancy... but you dont allow emails... Sry to do it this way, but its the only way i could think of. Please send me a message or something other way i could get it touch with you





thanks
Reply:Taking on an animal of any kind needs agreement by all those living in a house, it also needs some thought as to other circumstances such as getting to work and leaving the animal alone etc. My advice would be to have your fiance agree to rehoming the dane, even on a temporary basis to your aunt;s farm, where he can get the type of freedom he'll enjoy, your fiance can visit him anytime and take him out so he can have the best of both worlds. Good Luck, Jim
Reply:How frusting this must be for you. It sounds to me that the dog is leading the household. The first rule to dog ownership is letting the dog know that you are in control. You need to master the walk. Walking your dog is very important for the dog to know that you are the leader and the dog is the follower. You can also make certain rooms off limits. I hope you can make this work.
Reply:It sounds like this isn't the dog for you guys. Especially if you have a new baby on the way, there is no way in really telling how the dog is going to react. That plus the fact that there will be more expense because the dog isn't up to date on vaccinations, something you will definitely need to do. The dog sounds like it will be more stress for you.





If you were planning on giving the dog to your grandmother, could you do that? This way, you're fiance will still be able to visit the dog, I think that he'll get over the fact that the dog isn't there, especially once he realizes he's not sitting in a hole the dog ate in the couch.





Plus he'll have a baby to love soon.





JMHO, lots of luck to you and your new baby.
Reply:If he really insists on keeping on keeping the dog insist he take it through GOOD obedience training. With some good, consistent training you may just end up with a good family dog.
Reply:The dog is chewing and destroying things out of sheer boredom. If your fiance wants to keep him, he needs to commit to obedience training and lots and lots of exercise to stop the destructive behavior. If he is unwilling to make that commitment, then you should give the dog to your grandma.





You are about to go through a lot of life change and taking on a very large dog at this point is a lot of turmoil in your house. No one should ever take on a new pet (let alone a great dane) when one member of the household does not want the pet. Talk to your fiance about what is needed on his part to solve the problem. If he is unwilling to put that much effort into it, make it clear he is not being fair to the dog or to you and the baby. If you frame it in those terms, maybe he'll understand.
Reply:This dog is still a puppy..he is chewing on stuff because he is teething (would you hate your baby when he/she starts teething?) same thing, it's not his fault..their gums hurt and chewing relieves the pain.





Large dogs like this will not stop chewing until they are 2 years or older..get him a crate..only let him out of the crate when he can be watched...and provide him lots of chewy toys..a puppy kong (my pup looooves her puppy kong) and petsmart has these bacon flavored fish specially made to soothe sore gums.


Also, take doggy to obedience class..your boyfriend and you together..play a major role in his obedience training.


as to your boyfriend becoming attached quickly it is quite possible to become attached to a dog in a very short time..I was attached to mine the minute I saw her lovely large little paws! you are not being fair to your fiance to not try and love his dog (he chose you..wouldn't you expect that his taste in who to love would be good?)


Well trained doggies are great for little kids..after he gets over his teething stage and has been properly trained you will soon wonder how you ever lived without him...just keep telling yourself..he's still a baby and needs love, nurturing, boundries and kindness and excercise.


Honestly if my SO said "me or the dog" Me and my dogs would be the only ones left in that relationship.





PS%26gt; pythons around babies are far more dangerous than big dogs..i suggest you do some research on python ownership in homes with small children..what you find will make you turn green...and you shouldn't have a small dog in a house with a python also..
Reply:This sounds like a very difficult situation. The first thing I would say is do not, under any circumstances, give the dog away without your fiance's knowledge. This is a betrayal of his trust. If you can't be honest and sit down and talk with him about this issue, how can you expect to discuss even more important issue within your marriage? That is not the way to begin your life together. The second thing I would say is that you need to sit down and calmly discuss this situation with your fiance. Explain to him, logically, why this new dog isn't working out for you, and see what you can do to fix it. Maybe your fiance could try harder to keep the dog from chewing, i.e. buying the dog toys, a crate, taking it for walks, playing with it, training it, etc. If he really loves the dog as much as you say, then he will be willing to put in the extra effort. Also, please don't take your frustration with the situation out on the dog. He's a puppy in a brand new home, so please show some patience. I know that him eating your stuff can be exceptionally frustrating, my dog did the same thing, as well as having to take him to the vet, but with a little work, he'll make a wonderful pet. As for your pregnancy, that is something else you will have to discuss with your fiance. Having a puppy and a baby is double the stress, so that's something that both of you will have to consider. I wish you the best of luck, and congrats on the baby!
Reply:yeah do what is best for the baby, it is also better for the dogs welfare. maybe ur fiance does want 2 get rid of it but doesnt want the guilt, so if u do it behind his back then he wont have the guilt. if he gets really upset u could always get the dog back she is ur grandma so it isnt the end of the world if u say u want 2 try again
Reply:your fiance needs to come to his mind.


you have a baby coming soon, you dont need to clean up after the dog. Tell your fiance that, your sorry but the dog can have a better home, and yall can get another small puppy.
Reply:Here is a little info for your big problem, take this into consideration before making a decision and see if it works....








I have a Tibetan Terrier which are known as hyperactive and very mouthy dogs as is- ESPECIALLY when they are teethng. What helped us out was distracting our little guy through the use of dog toys, Kongs and a couple other techniques. I think this link will help you out, http://www.whole-dog-journal.com/sample/... Even if your dog is a puppy or not...





Dog Kongs are great for feeding and require your dog or pup to exercise more of a mental effort in the feeding process distractring them from doing more harmfull/compulsive behaviors like chewing on furniture or themselves for that matter.








RO
Reply:A person, grandmother, who wants the dog -- what more could you ask for. Babies and pups can be very difficult. Your family needs to wait until it has time for a dog, which isn't really right now with a new baby on the way. I believe you certainly are justified in giving this dog away and you indeed should give it away -- because you want to.
Reply:Tell them politely that you do not want a dog and ask if he wants it back. Otherwise, bring it to the Humane Society. It's not nice to give someone a dog they don't want. Dogs are a lot of work.
Reply:Talk to your b/f and tell him that the dog is not working out. Say you are having a baby soon and it will be way too much for you. Also that he is destroying the house and it isn't fair. Tell him that your Grandmother wants the dog and she will give the dog a good home. He has to agree, as this dog is way too much for you now. There are wonderful non kill animal shelters in every town, so if you have to give him away to a shelter, chose that kind. All you need to do is give a donation. If your b/f balks at the dog leaving, then tell him you are leaving and you won't be back till the dog is gone. Call his bluff as this dog is giving you stress that you don't need when you are pregnant. Also he should care about his baby more than this dog. How does he know that this dog will accept a baby? A great dane is a very large animal and is dangerous to an infant. I am an animal lover, but this could be a very dangerous situation, so you must lay down the llaw...don't worry he won't let you go, I assure you. Good Luck to you
Reply:Before making any difficult decision, maybe you can grow to like the dog, if it means alot to your fiance then you should try and give it another go, after all it only has been 2 weeks. If the dog was house trained, you can definatly train him not to chew on your stuff.


And if you do haul the dog off to your grandmas, i think that is really messed up, the dog is something your fiance cherishes.


How would you feel if your fiance took something precious from you and hauled it off. It's not very nice to do something like that.
Reply:It's a puppy .. That's very normal.





Second, the choice ends to who owns the dog %26amp; house.
Reply:You should really consider compromising with your fiance. Give the Dane to your Grandma and you and your fiance pick out a dog together. It's not fair to the dog to live in a house where someone hates it. Dogs need love, not to be the object of someones constant resentment. That poor dog will sense it and have behavioral issues because of it. But no absolutely you should not give the dog away without your fiances approval. If it comes down to it, make him choose, if by some crazy occurrence the fiance chooses the dog he's had for 2 weeks over you and your baby then the relationship wasn't gonna work anyhow and your better off without him.
Reply:How about you compromise with him and let him go pick out a puppy that's small and stays small.



under my skin

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