What do u think of my story? its unfinished though...?

Hi, my name is Indiana Opal Wingette III. I was born on June 15th, 1993. I live in a small little town in Louisiana. That town’s name is New Orleans. A little over a year ago, as you already may know, Hurricane Katrina came soaring through our city and destroyed pretty much everything. She also killed my family. Every single person I ever met in my family. I am the only Wingette member alive in America. Now I want to tell you my story.


I grew up in a poor family. My mother, Julliette, my aunt, Marre, my uncle, George, my grandfather, Karr, my two older sisters, Ana and Rita, all lived together in a tiny house in the middle of New Orleans. My father passed away before I was born. My other aunt, Saiah, and my other uncle, Tamicco, along with my four cousins, Joanne, Olivya, Marcus, and Miina live right next to us. We see them all the time. I only have a few friends here. I am home schooled, and I am not very social and I don’t get out much. All of my friends are people I met just around the neighborhood. My best friend is Jill. I’ve know her since I was three years old. We have a lot of fun together. She is also home schooled, so she doesn’t have many friends either. My other friend is Isaiah. He is very nice and caring, but I don’t see him much. His father is very rich and he goes on business trips a lot with Isaiah. That’s just about it. I do not know many people here. But I am about to meet a new friend. All of New Orleans is about to meet a new friend. Her name is Katrina.


As I mentioned before, we are a poor family with little belongings. My mother works as a home-cleaner in the neighborhood. She gets phone calls and schedules appointments with local residents and cleans their homes. She gets paid very little. My uncle George works at a shoe factory. He puts the plastic ends of shoe laces on. He too does not get paid much. My older sister Ana is a cashier at a local juice stop. Once again, she gets paid very little too. We own one car, a small, old-model Volkswagen Beetle. It used to belong to my father. Now Rita drives it to college. She is very smart. She has a 3.86 G.P.A. Ana takes the bus to get around. Mother walks to the homes she needs to clean. Uncle George also takes the bus to get to work. The only electrical or electronic device in our home is a telephone. It is very old and it is falling apart. We do not have a T.V., a radio, or a computer, so we aren’t always aware of the latest news.


It was a cool, breezy Saturday afternoon and Isaiah was home. So was I. I was restless and bored, so I walked over to Isaiah’s house. I knocked on the door, and Isaiah opened it up.


“Hi Isaiah, want to go play at the park? The weather’s great!” I asked him.


“Go to the park!? Are you crazy! Katrina is coming! Haven’t you heard? My whole family is packing up right now and we’re almost ready to evacuate!


“Katrina? Who’s Katrina? Why do you have to evacuate? What’s going on?” I said.


“You haven’t heard! Katrina, Hurricane Katrina! She’s on her way! She’s supposed to be a level 5 hurricane! You better let you’re folks know and start evacuating! Let Jill know too!” Isaiah said.


“Oh thank you! Thanks so much for letting me know! I’ll tell Jill!” I said, very worried.


I rushed to Jill’s house to tell her, but no one was home. I ran back home and told everyone at home. They called aunt Saiah’s house and told them. We all started to pack right away. Rita was at college with the car, so we took the bus to get us to the college. As soon as we got there, we spent quite a while looking for Rita. We had no idea where she was. We finally found her, and we headed straight to the car. Aunt Saiah and her crew were following us in there car. We began going north, but before we even made it onto the highway, the blue sky turned gray and wind blew as powerful as it has ever been before. We all new it. Katrina was here. Rita drove as fast as she could away from the hurricane. I looked back for aunt Saiah and everyone who was with her. But she wasn’t there. Not her car, not her, and no one else who was with her. There was no sign of her at all. We have no clue where they were or where they went. It was devastating to watch the roofs get blown of house and to watch people drown in the water that Katrina brought. I guess our new friend Katrina wasn’t so nice after all. The wind blew faster and harder and water grew higher and spread quicker. I blinked for a split second. The moment I opened my eyes, I was underneath Katrina’s ocean of water. I tried to help everyone get out of the car and swim upward, but I was too late. Other cars falling from nowhere had squished my entire family except for me and Ana. They were dead. Ana and I were scared to death and we didn’t know what to do. We swam up to the surface but the water kept piling up so we had to keep swimming upward. We finally found a tall hill that wasn’t surrounded by water. We quickly climbed to the top and began looking for aunt Saiah and every other member in our family who wasn’t dead. We had to be fast because the water was coming up fast. Ana looked down, and water covered her ankles. Unfortunately for her, she was on the lower part of the hill, so water covered her quicker than it covered me. I tried to help her, but she drowned in the water before I even got to her. She fell down into Katrina’s ocean, and died. It was only me.


The winds slightly slowed down, but it didn’t make much of a difference. I dove into the water and began to swim. I was determined to find aunt Saiah and the rest of my family. They had a bright orange car, so it was easy to spot. I looked around for about forty-five minutes in the intense storm. I didn’t find them, but I found Jill. I was so thankful to see her. I spotted another tall hill not completely covered with water yet, so Jill and I went there.


“Where were you when the storm came? I tried knocking on your door to warn you.” I asked her.


“My mother and I were out grocery shopping. We were in the store when the storm hit.”


“Where is she now?” I asked.


“I don’t know. I lost her ---.”


Jill was cut off by somebody. By Katrina.

What do u think of my story? its unfinished though...?
i'm so srry! i'm crying right now. this is a beautiful story! i hope u really get it published, this is terrific. it makes people really understand wat happened in katrina, u made me understand much better. i am going to pray for u and ur deceased friends and family every night! i hope u have a succesful life
Reply:Very interesting story. Very interesting style of writing. It's not clear to me whether or not it's true %26amp; I guess that's a compliment to your ability to put concepts into words.





If it IS true, I'm very very sorry. There are no words to express the sadness I have for what happened to all those who were crushed by Katrina.





May G-d bless you and all who suffered there.
Reply:I was def in Katrina, and as an evacuee, I know exactly what that's about. Work on the informal language a bit. But overall, good concept.



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